


Date Night

by WoozleBucket



Series: Look Ma, No Hands! [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Superpowers AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:05:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoozleBucket/pseuds/WoozleBucket
Summary: James and Elyse go on a fancy-ass date. Nothing shocking happens except for the Jew.





	Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is a series. You don't need to read the previous part, but you can if you want. This story takes place approximately two months after the previous one.
> 
> James is a fantastically-ripped Deadpool, Elyse is Agent Knuckle, the Canadian Black Widow, and Joel does electricity and shit 'cause why not?

“It all started with an asshole,” he started. He then tilted his head and shook it. “No, it wasn’t just an asshole. It was, like, the king of assholes.”

“Is this how you greet all the ladies?” Elyse asked, reaching forward and pulling her date’s forkful of steak out of his hand and into her mouth. 

“Only you,” he answered, pulling his fork out of her mouth and jabbing it into another bit of steak.

“Aw,” she smiled. “I knew you cared.”

His eyes widened comically and he almost coughed up his food. He quickly swallowed. “N-no! I’m a stone-cold killer with no heart and a large penis!”

Elyse rolled her eyes. “James-”

“Elyyyyyyyyse-” he whined, interrupting her. She leaned forwards and clapped her hand over his mouth.

“James, shut up. None of your ‘manly’ friends are here,” she said, putting finger-quotes around “manly”. 

He licked her hand, making her squeal and pull it away. He smirked at her. “You’re cute when you’re grossed out.”

“I’m not grossed out!” she protested. “I’m just...wet! I don’t like being wet!’’

“That’s not what you said last night,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“James Willems, that is no way to talk to a young lady!” she mock-gasped, putting her hand over her mouth.

“Good thing I’m just talking to little ol’ Elyse, then, or else I’d be in trouble!” he said. She reached over the table and smacked his shoulder. He gripped her hand tightly before she could tug it away. 

“What did I say about upsetting the patriarchy?” he tutted. Before she could answer, he raised her hand up and kissed it. She smiled at him, but quickly stopped when he licked it. 

“What’s up with you and licking me today?” she squealed, pulling her hand away.

“Just practicing for later,” he answered, ignoring the fork and tossing a piece of steak up into the air and catching it in his mouth. Elyse saw the classy-looking man at the table behind James tense at the action. Now that she thought about it, he looked slightly familiar. She looked at him over her date’s shoulder, but the only thing she could see was the man’s wild, curly hair. James caught her gaze, turned to look at the man and immediately groaned.

“Who is it?” she hissed, already reaching for the gun tucked into her waistband.

“It’s the king of assholes,” James answered. “Also, don’t kill him.” He stood up and cracked his knuckles, smiling. “That’s my job!”

Elyse sat back and watched as James casually slid into the empty seat across from “the king of assholes”. 

“H-hey, James, funny seeing you here!” he quickly said. “I didn’t know you went to places like this. N-not to say that you aren’t fancy or classy enough or-”

James casually reached over the table and closed his hand around the man’s throat. 

Elyse smiled as James winked at her over Joel’s shoulder. She knew who this was. “Joel!” she greeted, standing up and moving to stand behind James. Joel choked and tried to pry the other man’s hand off of his throat.

“Can’t. Breathe,” Joel managed to get out. 

“Joel!” Elyse repeated. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! James never shuts up about you when we have sex.”

Joel made a high-pitched noise. James half-turned and looked at her with a weird look. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, wiggling Joel around.

“I’m talking about all the endless, beautiful sex we have every night,” Elyse answered. Joel reached his hand up and grabbed James’s wrist. James let go with a jolt, his hair standing on end. The other man immediately got up from the table and ran out the restaurant’s doors. James blinked and flattened his hair back down. After a second of consideration, Elyse reached up and messed it up again. By this point, several other customers were staring. Elyse suddenly felt uncomfortable, and apparently her boyfriend felt the same judging by the way he kept eyeing the door.

Elyse grabbed a passing waiter and smiled at him. “Check please?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to find me on Tumblr for some reason, I'm @woozlebucket. I don't really do much, but it's there.


End file.
